The monstrosity that is...

totalgirl.com.ph

On the eleventh of May 2009, this abomination, most likely known as the "twelve" year old admin of TGPH declared that the search is on for new moderators! Oh, the joy! Of course, all the wannabes swarmed in on the thread, and occasionally, decent members who are actually modworthy show up.

Our bets were on JobroFan7 & total{l}y sweet, but Carlaax3 {I don't care how many a's are in there} just became one when she posted: "I had a dream last night and I saw everyone became mods except me. Haha, I'm weird." Weird is an understatement of what you are, but fuck. Your retarded nightmare/pampaawa actually got you in. YES, Carlaax3 is a fucking mod! Which only proves how fucking retarded TG is.

Here's the list of the newly-proclaimed mods:
Carlaax3
Jellymocha
Sophixia~
Manikka.
Tyrasambile

So none of the members with actual brains got accepted. No surprise there. Plus the fact that people must be Twitards and JoBro fans to be qualified. Moderatrix, you can shove that position right up your pathetic twelve-year old ass. IF you are twelve.

And what the fucking hell is up with all those "good lucks"? Seriously, what the poster is actually saying is "Good luck, I don't think you stand a chance against me." Once or twice is passable, but if you repeat that over and over and over like a fucking broken record, people who have working brain cells to process that are actually annoyed. What a ploy to increase your post count, too bad the thread got locked.

Carlaax3 in action! "Yu can't remove a topic, okay?"

Honestly, how much dumber can you get? You CAN remove a topic if you're the thread maker. And who the hell is 'Yu'? First day as a mod, and you're already failing.


A tribute{?} post to The Rants of Moi.


Will be ranting more,
The Mad Katter

FINALLY! And here I thought...

And here I thought Americans had lost their sense. After all, they got us going when they booted Miss Dirty Diana, Alexis Grace, and Megan Joy Corkey. FI-NAL-LY! American Idol decided to boot Gokey off! WINNARZ!!1!

Danny Gokey, who is the former VFTW pick, was sent home after a horrendous song picked by Paula, and an even more horrendous song choice by the douchebag himself. I mean, "You Are So Beautiful"?! Sure it's a great song and all, unless Danny sings it, that is. From the moronic awkward dance moves to the song choices, he is one helluva train wreck. And get rid of that stubble, will ya? It makes you look like a hobo, if you aren't one.

Kris Allen's rendition of Heartless by Kanye West was awesome. He chose a better song than what Kara and Randy chose for him, which was Apologize by OneRepublic. I honestly liked it more than the original rap version. Sorry Kanye.

Adam was... Adam. No further comment necessary.


This is the most obvious season for American Idol. Unless they surprise us all by crowning Gokey on finals night. And if that happens, I swear I will never watch AI again. EVER.




Waiting on Katy Perry's performance,
The Mad Katter

dotdotdot

This one's personal, 'kay? I'm no Buddha.

Pardon the language.


Like fuck.

So there's this guy, who should be moving along with his life. After all, he's graduated {THANK GOD}, but what.the.eff. He still likes to hang around me and my friends. He's already annoying on Fster {plzduninvadefacebookforoursakes}, and MUCH MORE IRL. To put it simply, I am pissed. Pissed for seeing him every time I turn my back. Pissed at his fucking emo PMs. Pissed.at.him. Plus, he's scaring my friends away.

Or maybe I'm having PMS.

Either way, PISSED.




The stupidest blog entry evarr,

The Mad Katter

RESULTS!

So these are the results from the Philippine Aptitude Classification Test, which did not help me in choosing a college course at all, except for the fact that I will not be a Filipino teacher. And I wasted 80 pesos for this crap.



Click for larger image.

Ten Steps to Total Girl PH Nirvana

Credits go to Paula for the idea and some content. :))

Now that you're done pimping yourself out in KHQ, time for a new forum to own. Yes, Total Girl PH. Oh, the gayness of it all. This is where your newly acquired flaming skills are put to no use at all, where your brain turns into pink gloop.

CAUTION: USERNAMES MAY BLIND YOU. PERMANENTLY.


Step 1: Register. Unlike KHQ, TGPH requires your parent's cellphone number for verification. Simon says punch in 11 random digits. You'll be fiiine.

Step 2: Your handle is pretty much everything here. TGPH members hound words like "emo", "princess", and "sparkle", so you better go along with it. I have formulated... xXEmOSparklYPriNce$sXx. That's a pretty darn long {and blinding} username.

Step 3: Read the rules. Lame, right? Anyway, TGPH has a lot of annoying rules that everyone just seems to follow. Like you can't put up pictures, just links {Liek WTF, I know}. And having teeny tiny signatures. What's up with that?

After you acquaint yourself with the rules and become a law-abiding citizen of the gay nation,

Step 4: This is the step that I forgot to put in the TSTKHQN. CHOOSE an avatar and signature. Do NOT succumb to those people requesting at graphics shops. They're just a bunch of untalented, lazy douches/nincompoops/idjots who can't stand on their own. Instead, make one. If you're one of those untalented, lazy douches/nincompoops/idjots, I suggest you grab some from Photobucket, you buffoon. Make sure your avatar and signature either has Miley Cyrus, Demi Lovato, glittery skulls, Selena Gomez, or every pastel color imaginable. GIFs are sooo "in" right now, as they would say it. So slap that onto your profile.

Step 5: Now, xXEmOSparklYPriNce$sXx, you are ready to rock {rawk, as they'd say it}! Prove that your username IS all that! Make a thread here, and make sure your title contains the following: hearts, stars, bullets, smilies, and every gay symbol imaginable.

Content. Lie, baby, LIE. Nothing else is worth lying about than popularity. Tell those faggots at TGPH that you're from Croatia. Search for pictures of {hot} camwhores from whateverplacebutthephilippines and post a link to them in your thread. Be sure you type in the-ever fashionable English they use, like so.

TIP: Be sure to change your font style and use either bold, italics, underlined, or even strikethroughs.

Step 6: DO NOT EVER LEAVE YOUR INTRO THREAD PAGE. Refresh until a reply comes. Now make a posse, you "Croatian" bitch. Don't forget to make a tagline at the end of every post. Make it glittery and all.


Step 7: Choose your side. Either completely disapprove of Twilight, or gush about it 'til your nails break. It doesn't matter if you've read the books or not. SERIOUSLY.


Step 8: Everyone loves a little conflict. Do I hear a CATFIGHT? Refer to my previous post for owning lessons. Here's a practice dummy. A little background info: she's TGPH's Public Enemy #1. So ganging up and taking her down will be easy as π.


Step 9: MODFIGHT! MODFIGHT! After all your training in KHQ, mods here will be easier to take down. Be prepared for textwalls, though. TGPH mods = PSH. ahemmenchieahem.

Step 10: To finish it off, leave TGPH, announcing it EVERYWHERE. See your leechers bawl out as you depart. Then come back a month and post, post, post. The poor suckers will give you a welcoming party bigger than the Mardigras.

Step 11 (Optional): Repeat cycle from Step 8. Enjoy.

Now that gayness has leeched onto your brainz, CONGRATULATIONS! You are now a Total Girl!


Additional tips: Make a graphics shop. Name it something like "♥♥♥ThE BeST ShOpPE EvAR! MiLEy CyRuS GrApHiCs! ♥♥♥ " or "EvErYTh!nG EmO!".

Disagree with everything this douchebag says. You'll get a lot of laughs from it.

Compliment rant blogs like "The Rants of Moi", "Audrey and Louise", and "The Glossy Girls". UNLESS, you're on these blogs. In that case, I pity you, you ignorant boob.



PS: To whomever that takes this seriously, I pity you. This is a product of imagination and boredom. If ever you achieve nirvana through these steps, I must be a miracleworker.


Is inactive in TGPH,
The Mad Katter

Ten Steps to KHQ Nirvana

So you stumble in this forum, saaay... KHQ, and you browse through. You see all these cool people like StripperJoust!, Slash, GrantMorrison, Eggshell, scavengerchiel, Pseudonym, descythed, Big_Eater, archeafable, and so {many?} others who could actually converse in straight English and they are looked up on by all the other faggots in the HQ. And of course, you want to be a part of that community.

So, with no further ado, here are the ten steps to ultimate forum nirvana!

Step 1: Register. You know the drill.

Step 2: Pick a kickass username. DON'T put numbers unless it's 1337. Numbers don't make sense to anyone BUT you, and I'm not even so sure if you yourself make any sense. No sticky caps. It annoys the hell out of the other users and gives you that "n00bish" first impression.

Bad examples: UlTiMaTeCoOL2235263, xXpASsIonXx, and so many other visually painful user handles.

All done?

Step 3: Make that intro thread! Make sure it gets noticed around the gazillions of threads. Create an alluring title that is intriguing and shows off your wit.

"CHOCOLATE STATUES EXIST! I know they do." Bad example. Who doesn't know that? I bet this user didn't know about chocolate paintings on chocolate canvasses with the accompanying chocolate easel.

Content, content, content. Put in everything interesting about you. Feel free to make things up. I know some people do. Just don't say you're from Mexico and all of a sudden "bought my kzone mag at TriNoma!". At least be consistent with your lies. Discard information like, "I suck my thumb", "I have kleptomania", and the oh-so repulsive "I have herpes".

Step 4: Wait for a reply on your intro thread. Someone's bound to drive the welcome wagon at your doorstep, so keep refreshing your page until one comes up. If you're lucky, heck you can get a reply from the "intellectual group of members" but that comes in rarely.

Step 5: Make friends with whomever is replying in your intro thread. Now you've got this posse that you hang out with, you can start going to the threads they go to. Limit yourself. You might need backup. Even if it's from members who haven't seen a dictionary in their entire lives.

Step 6: Agree with everything the mods and the "intellectual group of members" say. No matter how it differs from your own opinions, AGREE. They'd just gang up and break you down, anyway.

Now after some establishment, you are now ready for Step 7.

Step 7: Choose your battles! Oh, the joy that flamewars bring. Pick on some n00bs before you go into the open field. Here's a practice dummy. Find his posts, and thoroughly disagree with everything he says. Now other people might hate him as well, so you can gang up on the poor dummy. When you're done pwning him, you will gain respect in the community and might get befriended by the "cool crowd".

Step 8: Pick a fight with a mod. Yes, this is it. You're done sucking up to these mods and you want your opinions heard. Choose a topic where you excel in and go all out. Here's a good example.

WARNING: You are alone in this one. No one has the balls to stand up to mods with no effing reason.

Step 9: Yo're on your way to forum 1337ness! Leave all your Engrish speaking friends and make new, 1337 ones. Start a war with them. Anything for the sake of entertainment. They're all nothing but a bunch of members who leech unto your greatness, anyway.

Step 10: YOU HAVE ACHIEVED NIRVANAAAA! Congratulation! You are now one of the elite members of the HQ. Now, time to join another forum.

Here are a few links for Your Noobness.

A Supplement to "KNOW YOUR KHQ"

Kzone HeadQuarters Dirty Little Secrets {A rant blog where you DON'T want to be featured for nothing but your 1337ness.}

Training Dummy #2.


PS: To whomever that takes this seriously, I pity you. This is a product of imagination and boredom. If ever you achieve nirvana through these steps, I must be a miracleworker.



On her way to Step 11,
The Mad Katter

TV TIEMZ!!1!

So I've probably posted this all over, but let me tell you again: WATCH DOLLHOUSE, PEOPLE!


Here is the official description of DH:

"Joss Whedon, creator of the groundbreaking cult favorites, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," and "Firefly," returns to television and reunites with fellow "Buffy" alumna, Eliza Dushku, for a thrilling new drama, DOLLHOUSE.

ECHO (Dushku) is an "Active," a member of a highly illegal and underground group of individuals who have had their personalities wiped clean so they can be imprinted with any number of new personas. Hired by the wealthy, powerful and connected, the Actives don't just perform their hired roles, they wholly become -- with mind, personality and physiology -- whomever the client wants or needs them to be. Whether imprinted to be a lover, an assassin, a corporate negotiator or a best friend, the Actives know no other life than the specific engagements they are in at that time.

"Echo acts with no memory of before. Or does she?"

Confined between missions to a secret facility known as the "Dollhouse," Echo and the other Actives including SIERRA (Dichen Lachman), are assigned engagements by ADELLE DEWITT (Olivia Williams), one of the Dollhouse leaders. After each scenario, Echo, always under the watchful eye of her handler, BOYD LANGTON (Harry Lennix), returns to the mysterious Dollhouse where her thoughts, feelings, experiences and knowledge are erased by TOPHER BRINK (Fran Kranz), the Dollhouse's genius programmer.

Echo acts with no memory of before. Or does she?

As the series progresses, FBI Agent PAUL BALLARD (Tahmoh Penikett) pieces together clues with the help of Russian informant, LUBOV (Enver Gjokaj), that lead him closer to the Dollhouse. Echo stops forgetting as her memories begin to return, and she slowly pieces together her mysterious past.

Produced by 20th Century Fox Television and Mutant Enemy Inc., DOLLHOUSE revolves around Echo's blossoming self-awareness and her desire to discover her true identity. But with each new engagement comes a new memory and increased danger inside and outside the Dollhouse. Joss Whedon directed the pilot and serves as executive producer and writer. Liz Craft and Sarah Fain are co-executive producers."


Did I mention shower and dominatrix scenes?



One helluva fan,
The Mad Katter

To the people who have been hiding in a cave...

So I'm actually thinking of filling this up before the advertisement. :))

Anyways, the purpose of this post is to acquaint certain cavepeople to YouTube. Yes, you heard me right. You're probably thinking: "Who in the effing hell doesn't know YouTube?!" Well, to some [stingy] people, they go to YouTube to find a copy of Watchmen {well, good luck with that} which is conveniently chopped into 10 parts {or prolly 20, in Watchmen's case}.

But illegal uploading isn't why YouTube was put up. You might notice the "Channels" button on every page. No, I will not provide an easy link, Your Idleness. Now click it. These "channels" are the gazillions of YouTube users. Usually, one should see the most popular channels. Go find one that piques your interest. There you go! Now you know how to use YouTube like any veteran{NOT.}!

Now let's talk about forums and messageboards. These two words actually mean the same thing, don't they? Anywhoo, if the term forum seems alien, here's the definition. Forums allow you to interact with people you barely know. Make friends, start a flamewar, heck, you can do anything {until you get banned, that is. MAKE A NEW ACCOUNT!}. Forums let you express your opinions, get feedbacks, and gang up on certain members *points at some people*. Bottom line: Post in a grammatically correct way and you'll be a-okay.

Now, if you're saying: "Hey, I know all that already!" Then congratulations for wasting precious minutes {or seconds if you have photographic memory} reading this shit hell of a blog entry!




Not a cavewoman,
The Mad Katter

Hanoi Montana?

Miley Cyrus was sued for $4M for this photo, which the Asian community in USA found insulting.

"The photograph of Miley Cyrus and other individuals slanting their eyes currently circulating the Internet is offensive to the Asian Pacific American community and sets a terrible example for her many young fans. This image falls within a long and unfortunate history of people mocking and denigrating individuals of Asian descent..." A strike for Miley!

"...Not only has Miley Cyrus and the other individuals in the photograph encouraged and legitimized the taunting and mocking of people of Asian descent, she has also insulted her many Asian Pacific American fans."
Strike number two!

Just remember Miley, the Chinese alone are 2 billion.

I wonder why that Asian dude isn't joining in the fun. Hmn?



Source for the photo and quotes: TMZ



An Asian chick,
The Mad Katter

Opening remarks.

Ahem. Ahem.

I have no clue how people manage to update multiple blogs, so I might as well let my Multiply rot in hell. Or give it the occasional refreshing.

Anyway, welcome to my [empty] blog.


Will be filling this up soon.