Ten Steps to Total Girl PH Nirvana

Credits go to Paula for the idea and some content. :))

Now that you're done pimping yourself out in KHQ, time for a new forum to own. Yes, Total Girl PH. Oh, the gayness of it all. This is where your newly acquired flaming skills are put to no use at all, where your brain turns into pink gloop.

CAUTION: USERNAMES MAY BLIND YOU. PERMANENTLY.


Step 1: Register. Unlike KHQ, TGPH requires your parent's cellphone number for verification. Simon says punch in 11 random digits. You'll be fiiine.

Step 2: Your handle is pretty much everything here. TGPH members hound words like "emo", "princess", and "sparkle", so you better go along with it. I have formulated... xXEmOSparklYPriNce$sXx. That's a pretty darn long {and blinding} username.

Step 3: Read the rules. Lame, right? Anyway, TGPH has a lot of annoying rules that everyone just seems to follow. Like you can't put up pictures, just links {Liek WTF, I know}. And having teeny tiny signatures. What's up with that?

After you acquaint yourself with the rules and become a law-abiding citizen of the gay nation,

Step 4: This is the step that I forgot to put in the TSTKHQN. CHOOSE an avatar and signature. Do NOT succumb to those people requesting at graphics shops. They're just a bunch of untalented, lazy douches/nincompoops/idjots who can't stand on their own. Instead, make one. If you're one of those untalented, lazy douches/nincompoops/idjots, I suggest you grab some from Photobucket, you buffoon. Make sure your avatar and signature either has Miley Cyrus, Demi Lovato, glittery skulls, Selena Gomez, or every pastel color imaginable. GIFs are sooo "in" right now, as they would say it. So slap that onto your profile.

Step 5: Now, xXEmOSparklYPriNce$sXx, you are ready to rock {rawk, as they'd say it}! Prove that your username IS all that! Make a thread here, and make sure your title contains the following: hearts, stars, bullets, smilies, and every gay symbol imaginable.

Content. Lie, baby, LIE. Nothing else is worth lying about than popularity. Tell those faggots at TGPH that you're from Croatia. Search for pictures of {hot} camwhores from whateverplacebutthephilippines and post a link to them in your thread. Be sure you type in the-ever fashionable English they use, like so.

TIP: Be sure to change your font style and use either bold, italics, underlined, or even strikethroughs.

Step 6: DO NOT EVER LEAVE YOUR INTRO THREAD PAGE. Refresh until a reply comes. Now make a posse, you "Croatian" bitch. Don't forget to make a tagline at the end of every post. Make it glittery and all.


Step 7: Choose your side. Either completely disapprove of Twilight, or gush about it 'til your nails break. It doesn't matter if you've read the books or not. SERIOUSLY.


Step 8: Everyone loves a little conflict. Do I hear a CATFIGHT? Refer to my previous post for owning lessons. Here's a practice dummy. A little background info: she's TGPH's Public Enemy #1. So ganging up and taking her down will be easy as π.


Step 9: MODFIGHT! MODFIGHT! After all your training in KHQ, mods here will be easier to take down. Be prepared for textwalls, though. TGPH mods = PSH. ahemmenchieahem.

Step 10: To finish it off, leave TGPH, announcing it EVERYWHERE. See your leechers bawl out as you depart. Then come back a month and post, post, post. The poor suckers will give you a welcoming party bigger than the Mardigras.

Step 11 (Optional): Repeat cycle from Step 8. Enjoy.

Now that gayness has leeched onto your brainz, CONGRATULATIONS! You are now a Total Girl!


Additional tips: Make a graphics shop. Name it something like "♥♥♥ThE BeST ShOpPE EvAR! MiLEy CyRuS GrApHiCs! ♥♥♥ " or "EvErYTh!nG EmO!".

Disagree with everything this douchebag says. You'll get a lot of laughs from it.

Compliment rant blogs like "The Rants of Moi", "Audrey and Louise", and "The Glossy Girls". UNLESS, you're on these blogs. In that case, I pity you, you ignorant boob.



PS: To whomever that takes this seriously, I pity you. This is a product of imagination and boredom. If ever you achieve nirvana through these steps, I must be a miracleworker.


Is inactive in TGPH,
The Mad Katter